To Apply or Not to Apply?

As the final deadlines for private school college applications rapidly approaches, I find myself relating to the indecisiveness and inclinations to contemplate as Hamlet demonstrated in one of Shakespeare’s most notable tragedies.

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Although I already have a list of schools I know that I’m definitely applying to, there are a couple on the list I keep taking on and off, always wondering whether I should apply just to see if I could get in or apply as a backup school.  In the beginning, I thought my list was set.  I felt like I would be happy at any of the schools on the list, no matter what the circumstances.

APEL Blog Post 7But like Hamlet, I started to think.  I became indecisive and a little doubtful at one point with all the colleges on my list, even the ones I had been sure about applying to.

In the play Hamlet, Hamlet becomes unsure of his own actions and seems to lose his sense of identity.  He doubted himself, just like I started to doubt my application decisions.  I started to think of so many questions like ‘what if I wouldn’t actually like the school?’ or ‘what if I’m applying to the wrong places?’  It started to eat away at me, driving me mad the way Hamlet was, because I was so fearful of making the incorrect decisions.

I redid my list.  I redid my list several times after that, and even now, my list has stayed more or less the same after taking schools off then adding them back on later.  At some point, I realized I wasn’t going to figure out exactly what the right solution was.  Probably because there was no indisputable right decision out there.  Like we (my classmates and teacher) discussed in my AP English 4 class, we just have to be prepared for what’s going to be thrown at us.  As human beings, we aren’t going to know ahead of time what the right choice was until after a decision draws a result and until the right choice reveals itself much later than when we actually needed to know.  I found myself relating to and learning more fromHamlet than I initially thought.  It gives me much more confidence now as I face the future and college applications knowing, through Hamlet’s/Shakespeare’s words, “the readiness is all.”

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